let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
