I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
