Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
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