pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
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