These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Randomize
