i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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