Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
