I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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