Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
