She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
