he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
