i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Randomize
