I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
i think i just naturally attract stoners
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
