I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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