It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
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