Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Randomize
