The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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