Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Randomize
