I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
