She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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