I think I just saw someone hide a body.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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