talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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