Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
