My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
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