do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
