eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
