I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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