Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize