dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize