We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
