drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
