You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
