Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
