lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Randomize
