so explain again why im purple
no
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
me + whiskey = a bad person
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
