don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
She has the best kind of daddy issues
i am craving dick and cupcakes
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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