Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
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