Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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