she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
