Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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