Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Randomize
