"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Randomize
