she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
