I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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