I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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