I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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