check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Randomize
