I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
