i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
we made out on top of his cat.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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