He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
