Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
