Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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